Coffee Break: Not Ready To Concede

It’s been a Xanax-worthy week, you guys.

Since finding out that the New York Sun may fold at the end of this month (I do freelance copy editing for them, 15 hours a week), I’ve been panicking.

Over a year ago, this regular gig gave me the courage to leave my full-time publishing job. A few months ago, however, I came to realize that I’ve been using it as a crutch, relying on it to the detriment of growing my at-home business.

And so I started looking for part-time work and freelance projects closer to home, eager to cut out the commute that took so much away from the work I was doing at home.

Now, however, with the final moment of truth for the paper only two-and-a-half weeks away, I’m wondering: Is it time for me to concede defeat?

In the past week, I’ve received invitations to apply to two different jobs, one as a part-time admin assistant in NY, with abysmal pay (I would be assisting a career counselor, which is how this one fell into my lap), and one as a full-time assistant editor for a major website, also in NY.

After everything it took for me to get this far, it terrified me that I would have to consider taking jobs that were so far from what I wanted and needed.

And so I’ve been going back and forth in my head: Take the easy way out, or take a risk?

After a productive and fulfilling day at home yesterday, I knew that I had to take the risk that income might not be directly forthcoming anymore. I had to stop jumping when something safe but less-than-ideal was handed to me on a platter. I couldn’t give up those at-home days I had worked so hard for, those hours in which I write, that ability to always be home, or close to it.

Even if it means taking some crappy p/t gig in my neighborhood, I need to do it. I need the flexibility to write at home. I need the flexibility to pursue my career coaching certification. I need the flexibility to build upon what I have already established.

What would you do to keep from going back to the 9-to-5? And what have you done?


  1. Steph, that’s funny, because I had the opportunity to take a full time job this week, too. It’s tempting, but ultimately, it’s not the direction I want my career to take. I realized that if I took another full time job then I’d never have enough time to see where freelancing can take me. I’d never have the time to query all the publications I want to write for (I still don’t, even when I’m home all day), and I’d never feel like my time was my own. I am assuming that starvation is not an immediate threat. There will always be fall back jobs if that becomes an issue. It sounds like you know what you want to do and just need the courage to do it. I say go for it!

  2. Thanks for the support Susan! When I first poured out all this angst to my husband, he didn’t seem to understand how crushing it would be to completely give up freelancing after all I did to get here in the first place. Now, the website mentioned above suggested that they’d be willing to change the available gig to a part-time position for my benefit. All is not lost!

  3. Very interesting post, as are some of your other posts. I have bookmarked your great site for future visits.

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