Audacia Ray Talks Media Making, Diversification, and Self-Identity

Audacia Ray

Audacia Ray, sittin' pretty beneath her red umbrella. God how I covet those tattoo sleeves.

Dear readers: I know you come here because I know everything about freelancing ever, and because you love my pretty pretty smile. But every once in awhile, I like to give you the chance to soak up someone else’s wisdom.

To that end, I’m super-duper-excited to introduce Audacia Ray, a prolific media maker and advocate who’s has been an inspiration to me since I started in the sex writing biz almost 10 years ago.

I first met Audacia when she was leading a Safer Sex for Sluts workshop at Sexy Spirits in Manhattan. I began reading her blog soon after, tracking her career as she spread sex positivity through books, magazines, movies, and more. For a short time, I volunteered at $pread, the magazine by and for sex workers that she was the executive editor for. Later on, I did a write-up for New York Press when Audacia had a launch party for The Bi Apple, her porn directorial debut. And I read and loved her book Naked on the Internet: Hookups, Downloads, and Cashing in on Internet Sexploration.

Talk about diversifying! (Can you see why I so love and admire this woman?) Nowadays, Audacia is the Program Officer for Online Communications and Campaigns at the International Women’s Health Coalition, and the co-founder of advocacy organization Sex Work Awareness. Audacia also hosts a monthly storytelling series, The Red Umbrella Diaries, where people who have worked in the sex trade gather to share stories and document their experiences. Their latest live event is this coming Thursday, August 5, and you should probably go. (Even better, you should go with me.)

So what can you learn about freelancing from Audacia?

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Does This Video Make My Head Look Fat?

So as you know, I’ve been trying to devote more time to my coaching practice lately, doing things like planning out several e-course curricula, starting a monthly newsletter, and forcing my husband to make my website look pretty. I also have a pretty extensive marketing plan to get through, so that people… um… know that I exist, and know exactly what type of awesome I can bring into their lives. In the spirit of promoting myself and explaining what it is, exactly, that I do, I jumped at the chance to be interviewed by J. Maureen Henderson of Generation Meh.

If you’re dying to see me in a video interview, head over here to see our chat about coaching, consulting, sex writing, and the many levels of TMI.

Aside from the amount of times I say “um,” it’s not too horrific. In fact, I dare say that I actually sound… articulate. ::confetti::

Related: Receive Some Guaranteed Awesome In Your Inbox, Career Stalled? What You’re Doing Wrong

10 Interview Tips From a Reporter Scared of Reporting


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For the past few weeks, I’ve been working on an article that has required me to interview various luminaries in the NYC-based sex-positive world. This kind of thing always makes me…nauseous. I became a writer, after all, so that I could communicate with others while simultaneously remaining isolated. I even take medication for social anxiety.

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The Infinite Wisdom of Others: Lisa Romeo


Hey guys! Freelancedom’s Infinite Wisdom of Others series is back, this time with the infinite wisdom of Lisa Romeo, who’s done far more than I could ever hope to do. Because she is incredible. Seriously, check it:

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When Interview Subjects Go AWOL

Ever have one of those days where every step of a project feels like pulling teeth?

For me, this usually occurs when I’m working on one of my dating advice columns for Nerve. First, it takes me eons to find enough people willing to participate. And then, when I feel as if I’ve finally overcome all hurdles, and am on the home stretch, my interviewees miss the deadline I’ve given them, or balk at supplying everything they originally agreed to, or just plain flake out.

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Why It Helps To Review the Basics


Check out this book my husband bought me for Christmas!

(I decided not interpret it is as a commentary on the fact that he’s supporting me, as it was on my Amazon Wish List.)

Allison Hemming — founder of the Hired Guns — wrote Work It! as an antidote to the times…times in which an increasing amount of people are losing their jobs, or are at least worrying about the possibility.

While the majority of the content in her book is aimed at those in the full-time, corporate work force, I found that the lessons therein — especially as they pertained to resumes, networking, and correspondence — were applicable to anyone looking to make money.

And the number one lesson I learned from reading Work It!? It’s never too late to review the basics.

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The Infinite Wisdom of Others: Katy Lindamood

Hey there everybody! I returneth from a looong day of pigging out with my husband’s extended fam, and man do I feel wiped out. The turkey was divine, but I think the twice-baked potatoes were my favorite. I digress, though.

As Thanksgiving conflicted with my usual Wisdom of Others post, and as I didn’t want to give this week’s purveyor of wisdom short shrift, I held off for a day. Take a peek after the jump for my e-interview with freelance writer/blogger Katy Lindamood.

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The Infinite Wisdom of Others: Kristine Brite

The teeny-tiny person pictured above is Kristine Brite,a freelance writer and blogger over at teleTwenties, and our next interview subject. (She also featured me on her site yesterday.)

As always, do e-mail me if you’re interested in being interviewed next. And now, Kristine’s words of wisdom:

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The Infinite Wisdom of Others: Susan Johnston

Welcome to week 2 of the Infinite Wisdom of Others! This week, I’ve branched out, and have a subject who is not in any way related to me. Bonus! After the jump, Susan Johnston — an extremely prolific freelance writer — subjects herself to my questions.

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Product Placement: Your Lucky Outfit

Every wardrobe has that seemingly magical piece that can’t bring yourself to get rid of. The top that ensures the second date. The suit that makes you strut. The lucky pendant that just makes you feel…safer and more confident. It’s why I haven’t been able to get rid of this jacket that I’ve had for the past eight years, despite the fact that the inner lining is ripped to shreds. A long, denim jacket that fits snugly around the waist, purchased in an H&M in Graz, Austria, it’s been getting compliments for as long as I’ve had it. Putting it on makes me feel like an instant superhero.

Your business attire should make you feel the same way. At the very least, you should have one winning outfit that you wear to consultations and business meetings (you know…when you’re not sitting in front of your computer in pjs and fuzzy socks…). This outfit should make you feel invincible, unstoppable, the right one to do the job.

After the jump, some pieces I wouldn’t mind having in my closet. Bonus: I struggle to put together a men’s outfit as well. (Unfortunately, I’m no Stacey or Clinton.)

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