Archives for December 2010

I Married My Perfect Business Partner

December 30, 2010 by 5 Comments

Michael is attempting to seduce me by rubbing his nipple. Obviously, it's not working. God we're a couple of weirdos.

That sexy photo to the left is about seven years old, and represents the beginning stages of my relationship with my now-husband.

Back then, people said that we were perfect for each other. They said we balanced each other out… pushed each other’s boundaries… calmed each other’s crazy. (Side note: When Michael finally asked my parents for permission to propose, they asked him: “Are you sure!?” Yeah. Thanks a lot, Mom and Dad.)

Some things (like that E.T. T-shirt and Michael’s seduction tactics) never change. Because we’re still balancing each other out beautifully, and in more ways than before. Not only does Michael expertly handle my meltdowns, but he’s also an asset to my business.

You heard me right. Without Michael, Freelancedom wouldn’t look this pretty. And neither would my professional site. And, come to think of it, I probably would have never even attempted hosting my own e-course. (This is why you marry a front end web developer, people.)

Actually, without Michael’s support, I might still be working in book publishing.

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Reason To Write: To Connect With Others

December 28, 2010 by 3 Comments

Diana Vilibert: confessional writer, really cool chica...

Way back when, at a time when I was actually managing a products blog over at Nerve, I hired Diana as a blogger. Of course, within the confines of the blog, one couldn’t really see what I loved about her writing: the artistry of her words… the bravery and blatant honesty behind them.

These days, Diana is a freelance writer with clips on Lemondrop, Shape.com, The Frisky, YourTango, CosmoGIRL!, and other publications. She also has a smokin’ hot sex column on Crave Online. She was the web editor for Marie Claire before going rogue.

She writes a lot of lifestyle content, sort of like I do. But what I really love are the snippets she shares on her Tumblr. Because — while all that other stuff no doubt pays her bills — it’s when she’s getting down and dirty and personal that her writing really shines.

So I’m thrilled to feature Diana in this week’s Reason To Write spot. The post below originally appeared on her personal blog.

Someone once asked me if negative feedback on my writing upsets me. I thought about it and said no, not usually. Of course, a few days later, I got a comment that upset me:

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Merry Christmas! My 12 Favorite Freelance Tools and Resources

December 23, 2010 by 1 Comment

My gift to you. Go ahead. Open it.

Just yesterday, Deb Ng wrote a fantastic post on the 10 Ways to Give Back to Your Favorite Bloggers for the Holidays. I loved it because I’ve always felt that generosity toward your fellow freelancers was key in achieving career success… and in experiencing the warm fuzzies. In fact, I’d advise all of you to show generosity to your fellow freelancers year-round, with feedback, advice, contacts, support, resources, and more.

In that spirit, I’d like to leave you guys a Christmas gift before shutting down my laptop for the holidays and gorging myself on Candy Cane Kisses and eggnog.

I eschewed fancy wrapping paper, as my cats tend to eat any curling ribbon I  leave languishing beneath the Christmas tree. (And then they puke it up later. Fun!) But even though my gift’s not super-fancy, I hope you’ll find it helpful.

Go ahead. From me to you, my 12 favorite freelance tools and resources. May they bring you career success, and/or make your day-to-day freelance life a bit more bearable.

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Reason To Write: To Break The Rules

December 21, 2010 by 3 Comments

Alyssa Martino: Steering clear of rebellion? Not for long!

It seems my Reason To Write series has struck a chord with many writers. Today, Alyssa Martino — a copywriter/editor by day and freelance superstar by night (and, I’m assuming, weekends), shares her own story of how writing gives her permission to break the rules. I love her story, because I often feel the same way: I’m a social anxiety-ridden wuss, but writing makes me brave! Without further ado…

If I were someone else, I’d start off this post by telling you about that time I was arrested for stealing a car. Leads are supposed to pull readers in, and I’d surely succeed with my daring tale of rebellion, crime, and excitement — the wind against my cheeks as I sped ahead of the five cop cars zeroing in from a fog-framed highway.

But the truth is, I’ve always lived my life rationally and responsibly. I rarely act without dissecting the relevant consequences and am infrequently careless (unless you count playing a few too many drinking games. It’s okay now, Mom; I’m 23). I’ve probably disobeyed my parents a total of three times and, even then, they were minuscule infractions, like sleeping over at a friend’s house or eating a second brownie. When they found out, Mom and Dad probably just laughed and said, “It’s okay, kiddo. That rule isn’t too important anyway.”

As parents, they’re likely thrilled by my lack of bad behavior… thrilled to have raised a poster child for compliance. But as a nonfiction writer, I worry about being boring. How will I avoid appearing flat and dull on the page?

But that’s a different story altogether. This isn’t a tale of how I write; it’s one of why I write.

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Do You Love Your Work More Than You Love… Love?

December 16, 2010 by 6 Comments

A typical evening in the Auteri household.

Shortly after getting married, I started seeing my husband a lot less.

No, he wasn’t having an affair.

I was.

With my work.

First, I started working nights at the New York Sun. I headed over there after finishing my day at Routledge, an academic book publisher where I was working full-time. Then, after securing additional hours at the New York Sun and getting onto my husband’s health insurance, I left Routledge, only to start an editorial internship at Nerve. I was exhausted, but I was also excited: I was finally pursuing the full-time freelance lifestyle I had wanted for so long, and I was hoping that the time I put in at Nerve would open even more doors for me.

My husband? Well… we barely saw each other. He was already gone by the time I woke up in the morning, and already asleep when I finally arrived home from NYC.

I was unhappy with the state of our relationship, but what could I do? It was my own damn fault. And within six months, I was able to match the salary I had previously been making in book publishing, and had also broken into a number of dream publications, including Nerve and Time Out New York.

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Reason To Write: A Holiday List

December 13, 2010 by 3 Comments

I started the Reason To Write series so that writers could give thanks for the experiences they’ve had and the people they’ve met through writing, and also expound upon the other aspects of the writerly life that make them happy. This week, I’d like to introduce the always-hilarious Ruth Pennebaker, blogger over at The Fabulous Geezersisters, and author of the forthcoming Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakthrough. Ruth decided to use this space to write up a holiday list of all the ways in which writing continues to enrich her life. So when it comes down to it? Perhaps writing is the biggest gift of all.

As always, shoot me an e-mail if you’d like to contribute to this series in the future.

1. I’m not religious and I don’t believe everything “happens for a reason.”  I think life is random and chaotic.  So when I write non-fiction (essays, columns, blog posts, articles), I think I’m trying to make sense of the world.

2. When I write fiction, I get to create my own raw materials and characters and events. So you could say that I have more control over the narrative. The trouble is, you still have to imagine a realistic world where bad things happen to good people and Republicans still won the last election. So you end up trying to make sense out of these events the same way you do with non-fiction. Maybe you have to cede control when you write and allow bad things to happen; otherwise, you would bore the hell out of readers, wouldn’t you?

3. When I was younger, I wrote because I had a talent for it and I wanted people to notice me and see my name in print.

4. Now that I’m older, I think I write for different reasons. It’s partly habit. It’s partly to leave something — my stories — behind. Maybe it’s just for my family or maybe it’s just for me.  Somehow, that’s enough.

5. I also write because I would have made a mediocre lawyer (I have a law degree; don’t ask me why) and a worse neurosurgeon.

6. Don’t get me wrong. Sometimes, I wish I’d had the talent to be a great lawyer or neurosurgeon. But I don’t. Sometimes I bitch like crazy that the talent I do have is so underappreciated and underpaid. But, at difficult times — say, when my father died in May — I find myself writing and deeply grateful I can write. It helps me. It allows me to express what I need to say. At times like that, I feel sorry for people who can’t write and make something — anything — out of their grief.

7. After 30 years of writing, I write because I love it, it often makes me happy, and I can’t imagine doing anything else or anything better with my life.

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