Spill It: What’s Your Next Move?

December 27, 2011 by Leave a Comment

I’ve never been one to make a fuss out of New Year’s Eve, or to saddle myself with once-a-year resolutions. I reevaluate my goals almost every month, allowing each day to be a new beginning.

Still, after the overeating and undersleeping that is the holidays, I admit I feel especially compelled to ask myself: What’s next?

Otherwise, gravity and lack of inertia might keep me from ever resuming work again.

I feel especially dazed and bloated today. Last week, I baked seven pound cakes and six varieties of Christmas cookies. I chopped and pureed six cauliflowers and trimmed and roasted six pounds of Brussels sprouts to bring to Christmas dinner (an affair that lasted 8.5, long hours). Then, the day after Christmas, I hosted a dinner party at my condo. Because — apparently — I wasn’t yet tired of cooking and stuffing my face.

For the love of god, I need something new and exciting to pull me back into my work. So what’ll it be? [Read more…]

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A Holiday Recipe for Freelance Success

December 20, 2011 by 2 Comments

I've opted not to show you the flour- and batter-spattered countertops.

It’s five days until Christmas, and Holiday Brain has reached a fever pitch.

Yesterday, I baked two Nutella Swirl Pound Cakes while my Christmas mix played and the tree lights twinkled. It was so effing cozy and festively charming that my brain almost imploded. This morning, I baked a lemon pound cake and, tonight, I’ll be doing up five varieties of holiday cookies with my mom and brother.

I still have two more pound cakes to go.

I’ve also spent the past three weekends driving around with my husband and looking at holiday light displays whilst sipping eggnog lattes and mint hot chocolate. And doing up ridiculous holiday e-cards that heavily feature my cats being forced to wear holiday outfits. And planning holiday dinner parties and party parties.

Clearly, my mind is on one thing, and one thing only.*

Don’t worry. I won’t hold out on you. Here. Let me share one of my favorite holiday recipes: [Read more…]

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Want To Build Your Business? Get Out of Your Comfort Zone

December 9, 2011 by 4 Comments

The other week, I wrote a post about how choosing the more difficult path can lead to both personal and career growth. After all, if you’re not challenged by the work you’re doing — if you’re not learning — how can you possibly move forward?

Oftentimes, that difficult path involves merely putting on pants, or ignoring the evil siren song of your DVR queue. But sometimes, the more difficult path involves doing something you’re bat-shit petrified of.

Eleanor Roosevelt once said that you should “do one thing every day that scares you.” As a self-hating wuss, this appeals to me.

And as I read Noelle Hancock’s memoir, My Year with Eleanor (in which she tries to do one scary thing a day, for a year), I can’t help but think that in order to go bigger and better in 2012, I need to be challenging my wuss-tastic self even more. [Read more…]

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How Choosing the More Difficult Path Leads to Awesomeness (and a Cuter Butt)

November 18, 2011 by 2 Comments

The other day, I was the only student to show up for lunchtime yoga. “You have three options,” my instructor told me. “A. We can do a restorative yoga class. B. I can kick your ass with a really intense class. C. We can blow this joint and go out for drinks.”

I stood there, waffling between all three. An hour of restorative yoga would pretty much be an easy-peasy, introspective afternoon nap. Going out for drinks would be fun. And I’d been wanting to pick my instructor’s brain about his experiences within the teacher training program.

In the end, though, I chose option B. I felt I needed it, especially after my rough day at the lab, trying unsuccessfully to get blood drawn so I could take the next step in trying to get pregnant. That and I’d been feeling a little fat. So we got down on our mats and we sweated it out. [Read more…]

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Why It’s Totally Cool If My Kids Skip College

October 20, 2011 by 23 Comments

I have a B.A. in Writing, Literature, and Publishing from Emerson College, despite myself.

I mean, there was never a question I would go to college. After all, it never occurred to me that any other path was available.

But I started out studying journalism at the College of New Jersey. I became disenchanted and discouraged by my choice of major. I fell into a depression after both the death of my grandmother and the end of an abusive relationship. I dropped out of college with the certainty that I didn’t need it to be a writer.

Which was true, but I wasn’t sure how to go about making money. I ended up in a crappy retail job, at which I lasted for two months. Is this all I’m capable of without a degree? I asked myself, horrified. It wasn’t, but I didn’t know that. I ended up at Emerson.

After graduating, I was lucky enough to get a job within two months (though not in my field). I was miserable there, and felt relief when I was laid off after six months. A year later, I had my feet planted firmly within the publishing industry. Finally. I was content… for awhile. But I soon realized I had no interest in working my way up the corporate ladder. I wanted to create. I wanted to be my own boss.

And so I made my circuitous way to the here and now, where I’m a happy, and pretty well-balanced, business owner. I’m lucky enough to be one of the few people out there who has ended up making money in the field they studied in college. But I could have gotten here quicker. I could have gotten here without incurring debt. I just didn’t know. [Read more…]

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Are You a Typical Freelancer?

October 10, 2011 by 1 Comment

When Thursday Bram approached me with the idea of a post exploring the idea of the “typical” freelancer, I was intrigued. I’m of the mind that there’s no such thing as “typical,” that the best freelancers carve out their own, unique path, and that a successful freelance career can look different to every freelancer. But as Thursday points out, beginning freelancers often want to know the right way to do things. They’re desperate for answers. So what does the typical freelance path look like? Thursday — a full-time freelancer and the co-founder of  Enhanced Freelance, a membership site for freelancers ready to up their game — has your answers. [Read more…]

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How to Start from Scratch with a New Niche

September 27, 2011 by 1 Comment

This is a metaphorical lump of dough.

Like any good love affair, even a thriving writing career can get into a slump. And by “slump,” I’m not referring to the lean times in your typical feast-or-famine cycle. I’m referring to a successful business that — for some reason or another — you just feel bored with.

You know the feeling: Every targeted press release seems to say the same thing. Every forthcoming book you’re offered for review seems to have the same premise. And when your favorite sex toy purveyor offers you the latest and greatest vibrator with all the bells and whistles, you just feel meh.

While your niche may once have been a passion (and perhaps still is), it doesn’t seem to leave room for all the new interests in your life.

But is it worth it to switch gears? Will food editors be interested in a piece from a veteran health and wellness writer? Will tech editors care what the go-to sex columnist has to say?

[Read more…]

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Inch By Inch: How Small Steps Lead To Big Success

August 17, 2011 by 3 Comments

Earlier this week, I joined a yoga studio just two minutes from my condo, and started trying out different classes. I had been using Shiva Rea and Rodney Yee DVDs at home, but I wanted to mix things up, and I wanted someone who could tell me when my elbows were pointed in the wrong direction, and who could correct my stance. I wanted someone who could adjust my pose the one iota it needed to be perfect. I wanted to achieve yoga success.

Yesterday afternoon, the instructor had us do headstands. When I admitted I hadn’t done one since I was a toddler, he rubbed his hands together with glee and had me move my yoga mat up against the wall. Then, he walked me through the setup for the position and watched as I struggled to get my legs up above my head.

“Just one more inch,” he said as I flailed about. After a few moments, I let out a surprised “Oh!” as my feet touched the wall.

[Read more…]

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Do You Write for the Bucks or the Byline? How I Started Ghostwriting

July 7, 2011 by 8 Comments

There was a time when seeing my name in the newspaper, or in a glossy magazine, was enough to make me squee.

I hated assignments that didn’t offer author credit, and generally avoided them. What’s in it for me? I thought, not even considering the possibility that a paycheck could be enough.

In fact, when I first began writing about sex and my editor brought up pen names, I shrugged off his suggestion. I wanted the credit, no matter how kinky the content.

(Which is why my Playgirl debut was particularly thrilling. They ran a cartoonified head shot of me next to my article… and directly below a drawing of what appeared to be an orgy. My mom made copies and handed them out to friends.)

So how did I end up ghostwriting ebooks and blog posts?

[Read more…]

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News Flash: Both Marriage And Freelancing Are Hard

June 23, 2011 by 4 Comments

Because everything is more attractive in black + white...

Four years ago today, Michael and I promised each other our undying love and devotion*. We said “I do,” danced the night away, and rode off into the sunset. [Okay. We passed out in our hotel suite, but same difference.]

Within a month, I also went full-time freelance. Michael added me to his health insurance plan, and I set about trying to see if I could make it as a writer or something.

Since then, both our marriage and our careers have had their major ups and downs. Michael went from feeling stuck in a direct mail copywriting job to excelling in the start-up web development world. I lost a permalance gig at the start of the recession, and struggled for a year to regain my footing before learning the power of diversification. We tried unsuccessfully to sell our condo. We tried unsuccessfully to conceive a child. And in the midst of all this, we lost sight of each other.

In fact, I recently wrote a piece for YourTango on how Michael and I almost separated.

The truth of the matter is, neither Michael nor I are the same people we were four years ago. And neither are our careers.

And at first that worried us.

But it doesn’t anymore.

[Read more…]

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