Spill It: Is All Your Work Created Equal?

July 17, 2012 by 1 Comment

Somebody help! I have no money left for books!

I have to be honest with you guys.

I haven’t made that much money this year.

I know. I suck.

When I first realized how horrifyingly, dismally low my income was for the first half of 2012, I immediately announced to my husband that I had failed at life, and that — from now on — I was going to be a housewife. I would sweep the floors. Dust the furniture. Scrub the countertops. Frolic with the cats.

Then my husband reminded me that we were about to be juggling two mortgages, plus paying for fertility treatments, and perhaps even springing for my yoga teacher training certification. He basically told me to get a grip.

Then, this week, people started throwing money at me.

In addition to the book I was already ghostwriting, I was suddenly asked to copyedit a manuscript, draw up proposals to manage two social media campaigns for two separate clients, and take on another coaching client. Suddenly, I had well-paying work coming out my hoo-ha.

Hallelujah!

It’s a relief to be sure, but I have to say… when I think back to the preceding six months, I can’t really say that the work that’s rolling in now is any more important to me than the work I was doing before. [Read more…]

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Spill It: Are You a Terrible Self-Starter?

May 4, 2012 by 3 Comments

Last week, I headed over to my local library to sit in on a meeting of the Toastmasters Club. When we went around the room to introduce ourselves, I admitted that I was on a panel at a major conference that coming weekend, that public speaking terrified me, and that I was hoping to pick up some pointers.

So when it came time for impromptu, two-minute presentations, the master of ceremonies (the Toast Master?) asked me to take the first shot and talk about the presentation I was preparing for.

Fantastic.

I got up there and babbled incoherently for just under two minutes about ASJA, sex writing, the book I was working on, and promotional plans. It wasn’t terrible. But it was definitely unfocused, and I was obviously nervous.

(A few presentations later, a guy with fantastic biceps opened up his presentation by saying that my presentation was his favorite. But I’m pretty sure it’s because no one expects to come to the public library, attend a Toastmasters Club meeting, and hear somebody talk about sex.)

ANYway. At the end of the meeting, I received some more constructive feedback from the person tasked with analyzing each mini-speech, and one thing he said stuck out to me. “People tend to use filler words (stuff like uh and um) in the same way they clear their throat,” he said. “You feel unprepared, so you fill in those words while you gather your thoughts.”

It struck me then that my tendency toward extreme procrastination is much the same thing. [Read more…]

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Spill It: Are You an Emotional Mess After a Major Success?

March 6, 2012 by 18 Comments

When my literary agent first offered me representation the other week, I tried to play it cool. I told her I was thrilled she was so into my book idea. I told her I’d have to touch base with another agent who also had my full proposal. Then I hung up the phone, my hands shaking, and started to cry.

My husband’s response: “You have weird reactions to things.”

Thanks, Michael. Thanks a lot.

I swear, you guys. They were happy tears. I’d wanted to be an author since the age of 5, and this was huge leap forward for me.

Only a week or two later, though, I was depressed. [Read more…]

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Spill It: What’s Your Next Move?

December 27, 2011 by Leave a Comment

I’ve never been one to make a fuss out of New Year’s Eve, or to saddle myself with once-a-year resolutions. I reevaluate my goals almost every month, allowing each day to be a new beginning.

Still, after the overeating and undersleeping that is the holidays, I admit I feel especially compelled to ask myself: What’s next?

Otherwise, gravity and lack of inertia might keep me from ever resuming work again.

I feel especially dazed and bloated today. Last week, I baked seven pound cakes and six varieties of Christmas cookies. I chopped and pureed six cauliflowers and trimmed and roasted six pounds of Brussels sprouts to bring to Christmas dinner (an affair that lasted 8.5, long hours). Then, the day after Christmas, I hosted a dinner party at my condo. Because — apparently — I wasn’t yet tired of cooking and stuffing my face.

For the love of god, I need something new and exciting to pull me back into my work. So what’ll it be? [Read more…]

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Spill It: How Do You Handle Rejection as a Writer?

December 1, 2011 by 5 Comments

I learned early on that — when it came to freelance writing — it was important to bounce back quickly from rejection, keep up the momentum, and flip that pitch.

Because of that early lesson, I’ve never felt too much anxiety when pressing “send” on my query letters and, upon receiving rejections, I’ve typically only felt the barest twinge of disappointment before turning to the next publication on my pitch list. After all, rejection is a reality of the freelance writing life, and not everyone is going to fall all over themselves to publish my work. In fact, despite my being a total genius (obvs), I’m pretty sure at least some of my ideas have been pretty weak.

So my mental reaction when I received my first-ever rejections from my first-ever literary agent queries sort of caught me by surprise. [Read more…]

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Spill It: Do You Unknowingly Waste Your Best Stories?

October 12, 2011 by Leave a Comment

Tomorrow morning, I’m heading up to Good Commons in Plymouth, VT, for a Revitalize Retreat organized by healthy travel organization Pravassa. I don’t travel (or unplug) often, and I’ve never taken a vacation alone. But I’m looking forward to daily yoga classes, and cooking classes during which we’ll prepare farm fresh meals. I’m looking forward to field trips to nearby sustainable farms. I’m looking forward to soaking in the hot tub, and stuffing my face with s’mores at the fire pit. I’m looking forward to spending quiet hours with my stack of books (Michael Ellsberg’s The Education of Millionaires, Elizabeth George’s I, Richard, and Karen Russell’s St. Lucy’s Home for Girls Raised by Wolves), and to meeting other blissed-out, beginner yogis.

When I told my yoga instructor about the trip, he was all, “Cool! Are you writing about it!?” And then I hemmed and hawed and finally admitted to him that it hadn’t occurred to me.

But this is only half true. Another part of me had thought about it in passing, and had then decided that I wouldn’t be able to come up with a compelling story angle. Or that it would be too much of a long shot to sell a story that wasn’t about sex. And was it worth the effort? Wasn’t I supposed to be having fun? Unplugging? [Read more…]

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Spill It: Are You Working Through the Long Weekend?

September 1, 2011 by 2 Comments

Michael and I were supposed to travel up to Vermont this weekend for an incredible Labor Day Food, Wine, & Rejuvenation retreat. There were going to be daily fitness classes. Kayaking. A field trip to the Green Mountain Sugar Shack. Hot tubbing. A fire pit. A folk and blues festival. Food and wine pairings. Lots of other things. OH MY GOD IT WAS GOING TO BE INCREDIBLE.

Then, Hurricane Irene happened, and Vermont was hit pretty damn hard. The retreat, understandably, was canceled.

My yoga instructor told me I have to find a fun replacement for those canceled plans.

But here’s the thing.

Most of the time, I’d rather be working than doing anything else. [Read more…]

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Spill It: Did You Choose Freelancing, or Did It Choose You?

July 20, 2011 by 16 Comments

About four years ago, I walked into my publisher’s office and handed him a resignation letter.

I didn’t do it as a negotiation tactic. I wasn’t trying to force his hand. All I wanted was to give this freelancing thing a shot: to be my own boss, pick and choose my own projects, and have the time and energy to write more of my own stuff.

No salary range… no full-time dream job… could have lured me back to the corporate workforce.

The thing is, many people in my life just assumed I was looking for something better. They didn’t see freelancing as a viable career option. One well-meaning friend even offered to treat me on all future meals: “… just until you find a new job,” she said.

“This is my new job!” I replied.

[Read more…]

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Spill It: What Does Networking Mean To You?

June 28, 2011 by Leave a Comment

Earlier this week, J. Maureen Henderson wrote a post for Forbes on what networking isn’t… and what it could be. I cheered as I read her post, because she got it. She got that networking wasn’t about desperation-fueled schmoozing. (Well. It shouldn’t be.) It wasn’t about working a room or handing out business cards willy-nilly. It was about conversation. It was about connection. It was about all the ways we connect with others on a daily basis, in a thousand different ways.

“Blogging is networking,” she wrote. “Being on Twitter is networking. Sending your BFF a job posting that you think would be perfect for her roommate is networking. Asking Jim in Marketing if he knows someone who is aces at web design is networking. When your new hair stylist asks what you do for a living and you answer her? That’s networking.”

Last year, J.M. did a video interview with me about my career coaching business. That was networking, too. One of J.M.’s blog readers saw that video and became my very first e-course student.

What else is networking?

[Read more…]

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Spill It: What Does Your Fantasy Coworking Space Look Like?

May 19, 2011 by Leave a Comment

Since leaving YourTango, I’ve used the past two months to take a really close look at my career coaching business, trying to figure out what I want to focus on, which products and services I want to take off the table, which I want to add (if any), and where I want this whole career coaching thing to go.

The first sentence of the bio I wrote for the YEC site was telling: “Steph Auteri is the founder of Career Coaching for Word Nerds, a company created with an eye toward building a community of fellow word nerds and publishing professionals who can share stories, experiences, tips, and resources with their peers, and also connect with established experts within the industry.”

It made me realize that — as much as I enjoy one-on-one coaching — I’d really like to make my coaching biz a community.

And so, the germ of a (possibly ridiculous) dream was born: To one day open up a coworking space / cafe that also holds regular literary and networking events.

[Read more…]

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