5 Ways To Harness Your Introvert Power as an Entrepreneur

I don’t want to presume too much about you, dear readers, but I’ve noticed a pattern among the fellow freelancers/entrepreneurs I’ve had the pleasure of engaging with over the past few years:

Much like me, the majority of them are introverts.

It makes perfect sense.

Instead of feeling the pressure to perform at business meetings, freelancers can allow themselves the time to absorb communications from clients, mull things over, and then respond. Instead of feeling guilty for turning down lunch invites — worried that others will think them a weirdo or a snob — freelancers can spend lunch hours with their cats, scheduling social outings only when they feel up to them. And instead of working the typical 9 to 5, feeling obligated to stick to corporate work hours despite feeling burnt out, freelancers have the ability to work at their own pace, scheduling in book breaks, walks, or yoga as a means of recharging. It’s no wonder that introverts everywhere are flocking to freelancedom and entrepreneurship.

What’s sad is that many introverts still feel the need to apologize for their introversion. In Introvert Power, Laurie Helgoe writes that many introverts “… see extroversion as a bar that he or she can never quite reach.” I know the feeling. I’ve long cursed my tendencies toward introversion and social anxiety, and I admire those who can work a room like nobody’s business… and have a blast doing so. The thing is, being an introvert has its own benefits.

Introvert Power wasn’t written for freelancers or entrepreneurs, and it wasn’t written for writers. I recommend it anyway, because I found to be very affirming. That and I found that its lessons can easily be applied to the freelance life. How?

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Permalancing: The Good, The Bad, And The Mildly Horrific

The other month, fellow freelancer Stacy Lipson interviewed me for a story on permalancing in The Fiscal Times.* An interesting piece, to be sure, but I felt a bit put off by the fact that the Times portrayed permalancers as disposable victim-types.

Because, in my opinion, it goes both ways.

I’ve had several permalance-style gigs in the past four years. All of them were pursued as a means to an end. Most of them were taken on because I wanted some sort of financial safety net while still having the time to pursue the projects that mattered most to me. None of them were meant to be permanent.

I suppose you could say that I was taking advantage of them.

Still, Stacy’s right. A permalance situation is far from perfect. Which is why I think it’s about time I touch upon the good, the bad, and the mildly horrific when it comes to permalancing.

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Do You Love Your Work More Than You Love… Love?

A typical evening in the Auteri household.

Shortly after getting married, I started seeing my husband a lot less.

No, he wasn’t having an affair.

I was.

With my work.

First, I started working nights at the New York Sun. I headed over there after finishing my day at Routledge, an academic book publisher where I was working full-time. Then, after securing additional hours at the New York Sun and getting onto my husband’s health insurance, I left Routledge, only to start an editorial internship at Nerve. I was exhausted, but I was also excited: I was finally pursuing the full-time freelance lifestyle I had wanted for so long, and I was hoping that the time I put in at Nerve would open even more doors for me.

My husband? Well… we barely saw each other. He was already gone by the time I woke up in the morning, and already asleep when I finally arrived home from NYC.

I was unhappy with the state of our relationship, but what could I do? It was my own damn fault. And within six months, I was able to match the salary I had previously been making in book publishing, and had also broken into a number of dream publications, including Nerve and Time Out New York.

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Clients Not Respecting Your Time? Sorry. That’s Your Fault


couple arguing over overtime

A dramatic reenactment of my marriage, by a woman way cuter than me, and a man not nearly as cute as my husband.

My husband and I are incredibly different people. I’m an antisocial introvert; he’s a social butterfly. I love fresh eggplant and tomatoes; he loves Slim Jims and energy drinks. I love cheesy dance music; he loves slacker rock. One thing we do have in common? We’re both ambitious workaholics.

What this means is that we often put our work before our relationship, and that’s a dangerous thing. I’m always working through the weekend, loath to do dinner with his family or go on day-long outings. I have a neverending to-do list, and leaving work behind for an exercise class or friendly happy hour makes me anxious. I also hate low-key, “relaxing” vacations. If I’m not doing something action-packed or hands-on, I’d rather be spending my time being productive.

Michael, meanwhile, is one of those insufferably rude smartphone addicts. He checks his e-mail and answers texts and phone calls when we’re out to dinner together… when we’re watching TV together… when we have company over. He lets both his employer and his clients walk all over him, responding to messages immediately, and working in his off hours (without additional pay). One time, while on a weekend trip in celebration of our three-year anniversary, he popped open his laptop and started doing some work for his full-time employer. Despite the fact that he had taken a vacation day. Despite the fact that he was supposed to be celebrating with me. I was livid.

Because — while I do find it difficult to step away — I force myself to do it way more than he does, for the sake of our relationship, and for the sake of my sanity. I don’t want to be perpetually connected. I don’t want to be held captive by my clients’ every whim (though I do all that I can to take care of them during my working hours). I want a healthy work/life balance, and I want my family to come first.

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Career Stalled? What You’re Doing Wrong

Ever feel… stuck? Wheels spinning? Frustrated because you were desperate to move forward in your career, but were too busy trying to bring in the bucks?

Yeah. That does sound familiar.

Last week, I was feeling overwhelmed by everything on my plate, so I drew up a to-do list on GQueues. Later on, my pal Nicole came over to talk shop. She wanted to pick my brain about products blogging, online shopping, and what different brands are doing right. (Obviously, she came to me because I used to be a products blogger… and because I’m also the poster child for shopping problems.) After plying me with a massive bottle of Chianti, and taking notes, she took a look at my to-do list and determined that it was all wrong.

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Why Write? It Could Save Your Marriage

About a year ago, in the midst of the FLX query challenge and looking to branch out into new markets, I pitched Inside Jersey with an idea for a north Jersey wine tour. Basically, I thought it would be nifty to show how you could still enjoy tastings and wine culture in an area without wineries, via wine bars, shop tastings, etc.

The EIC thought it was a nifty idea, but then was all: how about you include wineries, and do The Ultimate NJ Wine Tour? And because it included the word “ultimate,” I got way excited and proceeded to visit all 33 NJ wineries registered through the NJ Wine Growers’ Association, in addition to wine shops, restaurants, bars, etc. My husband and I even took part in a wine making class (we bottle our Cabernet in September!).

We did it all in three, frenetic months, and I handed in my finished piece at the end of 2009. Finally, a full year after I first pitched it, it’s in print (go to page 66).

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How To Avoid Social Media Fatigue in 5 Easy Steps

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Oh my god, you guys. The other week, I asked for suggestions on what I should include in my Job Hopping for Word Nerds e-book. Heather of CraftLit provided me with a goldmine of great suggestions, some of which I deemed outside the scope of my book. Still, I thought they would make for some great blog post fodder. So today, I decided to address this one:

How can I use social media without being swallowed by it?

So I opened up my Freelancedom dashboard, typed in the title of this post, aaand… then proceeded to spend the next four hours on Twitter.

Oy.

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Coffee Break: Working on the Weekend

We haven’t had a nice, long coffee break in awhile here.

I wanted to tell you about last weekend.

My husband left on Thursday night to hang with some old college friends for a few days. He wasn’t slated to come back until Sunday. I decided to use this time as a vacation for myself, and it ended up being the first time in awhile that I didn’t spend my weekend working.

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Coffee Break: A Place To Get Away

When your home and your office happen to be one and the same, it can be tough to ever truly let go, unless you actually leave the building. And finding a spot to unwind at home can be even more difficult when you’re living in a small space.

After remaining inside my condo for four days straight, it occurred to me that I have nowhere to go just go get away…no means of escape…

Unless you count my Wednesday night callanetics classes, an hour of stretching and pulsing that simultaneously relaxes me and deeply works my muscles.

I’d be interested in hearing how all of you escape the daily grind. Is there a special spot in your home, or is there a place you flee to in your car when things get especially stressful?

Coffee Break: Take Time Out To Shake Your Booty

It gets lonely working from home, all alone except for my three cats. Sometimes I get a bit stir crazy, talking to the cats, sometimes even dancing with them.

While the mental health ramifications of the conversations I have with my cats are questionable, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with taking a little dance break mid-project.

After the jump, my Dance Machine playlist:

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