Why I Don’t Want to Have It All

Class started off slow. Instead of sitting cross-legged on our mats, hands resting palms-up on our knees, we rolled up blankets and placed them — lengthwise — beneath our backs. We stretched out, our heads propped up on blocks, our arms flung out to our sides, our eyes closed. We concentrated on the rise and fall of our stomachs. Our chests.

After coming under the gentle spell of our own breath, we rocked forward onto all fours, and then leaned back into child’s pose. Then we slid forward onto our stomachs, where we were told to stretch our arms out above us and rest our foreheads on the floor.

That’s when I felt the tears burning behind my eyelids. They were so sudden, they took me by surprise. I pressed my forehead and nose into my mat, hard. I rocked my head from side to side, allowing my hair to fall around my face. [Read more…]

Spill It: Are You an Emotional Mess After a Major Success?

When my literary agent first offered me representation the other week, I tried to play it cool. I told her I was thrilled she was so into my book idea. I told her I’d have to touch base with another agent who also had my full proposal. Then I hung up the phone, my hands shaking, and started to cry.

My husband’s response: “You have weird reactions to things.”

Thanks, Michael. Thanks a lot.

I swear, you guys. They were happy tears. I’d wanted to be an author since the age of 5, and this was huge leap forward for me.

Only a week or two later, though, I was depressed. [Read more…]

Shameless Self-Promotion: A LoveMom Post On Depression

handful of pills

I am going to try so. hard. not to overload you guys with shameless LoveMom promotions, but I really wanted to share the post I wrote this week. Because  it was an exceptionally personal one, and because it felt so good to write it all out. I’ve already received so many helpful comments on the post, something that makes me all weepy with gratitude. I love that I have writing to turn to when it comes to things like this.

Without further ado:

[Read more…]

Writer’s Block, Ennui, and Other Barriers to Productivity

[Photo via]

Aaaand I’m back, thanks to a new wireless g USB network adapter. Yes, I spent the bulk of today losing my shit as my Internet connection went down every five minutes. As a result, I was able to squeeze in three Modern Materialist posts, but not much else.

But that’s not the only reason it’s been quiet around here this week, and that’s why I’m writing this post.

[Read more…]