How Do You Bribe Yourself Into Getting Busy?

hungry kittenThose of you who follow me on Twitter may have noticed that I’ve been having a little bit of trouble with motivation these days.

Monday, April 22, 2:27 p.m.: “I just picked up a book, slammed it down, and shouted at myself, ‘You can read that if you get shit done!’ Obviously losing it.”

Tuesday, April 23, 10:41 a.m.: “Today will be one of those days where I only get shit done by bribing myself with Spider Solitaire + hip-hop + @poetswritersinc.” #freelance

Then on Wednesday, I came home from my a.m. yoga class all pumped up to be productive, but was then quite easily lured away from my desk by a fellow Toastmasters member who wanted to meet up for lunch.

I obviously have no self-discipline.

I mentioned to Thursday Bram (on Twitter, obvs) that this is the dirty little secret of being a work-at-home freelancer. As holy-shit-fantastic as it is to be a freelancer (and you’d better believe that it’s holy-shit fantastic, and I feel incredibly lucky), it’s still hard as hell.

So I still manage to successfully juggle the social media management and the three ghostwriting projects and the weekly sex column and the yoga teacher training and my book proposal and my Toastmasters VP of Education responsibilities.

But damned if I know how.

Here are things I have promised myself in the pursuit of being productive. [Read more…]

How to Play the Waiting Game Just Right

Right now, I’m waiting for my attorney to call me back. I’m waiting for him to tell me that my husband and I are out of attorney review on the house we bid on, so that we can conduct our inspection and then wait some more (it’s a short sale, so our fate lies in the hands of the bank).

I’m also waiting for a ghostwriting client to come back with feedback on the proposed TOC I sent along to her last week. Once the TOC is approved, I can invoice for my first chunk of work and move forward on the project… a project that happens to have a very tight timeline.

And then there’s that other ghostwriting client who’s not yet officially a client. I’m waiting for her to make some final decisions on the last, little details of our contract together, so that we can get it signed.

I’m also waiting to hear more news from my literary agent. There are at least six editors who are just starting to dig into my book proposal, and the suspense is killing me. Will we need to send out a second wave of proposals? Revise? Will someone actually want the damn thing as is?

More things I’m waiting on: That IUI Medication Class my husband and I have to attend before we can move forward with fertility treatments. I’m also waiting for my web developer husband to start developing my new web project. I’m waiting for this. I’m waiting for that. All this waiting is driving me crazy! [Read more…]

Spill It: Are You a Terrible Self-Starter?

Last week, I headed over to my local library to sit in on a meeting of the Toastmasters Club. When we went around the room to introduce ourselves, I admitted that I was on a panel at a major conference that coming weekend, that public speaking terrified me, and that I was hoping to pick up some pointers.

So when it came time for impromptu, two-minute presentations, the master of ceremonies (the Toast Master?) asked me to take the first shot and talk about the presentation I was preparing for.

Fantastic.

I got up there and babbled incoherently for just under two minutes about ASJA, sex writing, the book I was working on, and promotional plans. It wasn’t terrible. But it was definitely unfocused, and I was obviously nervous.

(A few presentations later, a guy with fantastic biceps opened up his presentation by saying that my presentation was his favorite. But I’m pretty sure it’s because no one expects to come to the public library, attend a Toastmasters Club meeting, and hear somebody talk about sex.)

ANYway. At the end of the meeting, I received some more constructive feedback from the person tasked with analyzing each mini-speech, and one thing he said stuck out to me. “People tend to use filler words (stuff like uh and um) in the same way they clear their throat,” he said. “You feel unprepared, so you fill in those words while you gather your thoughts.”

It struck me then that my tendency toward extreme procrastination is much the same thing. [Read more…]

Why You Should Change Your Definition of Success

I started freelancing full-time almost five years ago. At the time, success meant matching my previous income, and saying yes to every project that came my way. As a result, I found myself working nights and weekends, skipping meals, and pushing exercise to the very bottom of my to-do list, where it never got done.

These days, success means being pickier about projects, preparing home-cooked meals with my husband, and having time for both my personal book project and my daily yoga classes. I have the potential to make more money… but the other stuff comes first.

Which is why I love Laura Vanderkam‘s work. In both 168 Hours and her most recent book, All the Money in the World, she shows readers that they don’t necessarily need more time or money to achieve a successful and fulfilling life. They just need to know how to spend what they already have.

In this Q+A, Laura shows us how we should redefine success. [Read more…]

How to Get Rid of Query Fear Once and For All

In the five years since I first launched this blog — and in the 1.5 years since I began coaching — I’ve learned a thing or two about the things that can hold a freelancer back.

And aside from the lure of a smooshy couch, a good book, or a curated list of sparkly jewelry on Etsy, a lot of the roadblocks we put up around ourselves stem from the pitch process.

You’ve asked me so many questions about query letters over the years:

How do I find publications to pitch?

Which editor should I target?

What do I do if I have no clips/experience/personal connection?

How long should I wait before I follow up?

Is my letter really good enough to send out? 

I had the same questions when I started out and, over the years, I developed my own system for making the pitch to publish process go smoother.

So what’s my trick to busting query fear? [Read more…]

How To Break Through Your Work Block

I’ve made a lot of excuses for myself over the past month:

I just finished several large projects; I deserve a break.

I’m distracted because I’m waiting on responses to my lit agent queries; can you blame me?

I’m suffering from Holiday Brain.

I’m suffering from S.A.D.

I’m suffering from this god-awful, nasty, lingering cold.

Poor excuses all, especially considering how much work I could’ve been doing based upon the goals I’d set out for myself.

I’ve been procrastinating on one project in particular: pulling together the notes for the ASJA panel I’m appearing on in the spring. (For more information, you can now find the lowdown on my Sex Writing panel here, on the tab for Saturday, April 28.)

Of course, when it comes to issues of procrastination, burnout, and rebooting, there’s a lot of advice out there: Step away from your work. Schedule in a walk, workout, or meal. Do something that nourishes your soul. Meditate. Etc.

But don’t these tips assume we’re all struggling for one, universal reason? Aren’t they all just temporary salves that don’t actually solve the underlying problem? Why else would we need to repeat them again and again (and again)?

Shouldn’t we be tackling the root of the problem? [Read more…]

How To Keep Up the Momentum During the Holidays

I’ve been seeing it a lot lately. Fellow freelancers tweeting out that their calendars have opened up enough to allow for new business. I did it myself just last week.

Is it something in the air? Have our work cycles somehow become synced up? Are all of our regular clients just too damn busy stringing up twinkle lights and hanging stockings to bother with assigning out new work?

Part of it is the conclusion of another fiscal year. Large projects are ending. Annual budgets are drying up. Clients are holding back until 2012… fiddling with their editorial calendars… treading water until they feel safe spending money again.

Another part of it is Holiday Brain. Between all of those projects we just wrapped up, all of those pound cakes and soups we just made for Thanksgiving, and all of that holiday shopping we now have to do, we completely forgot about marketing ourselves. I mean, who has time to hustle when there are catnip candy canes and glittery tree ornaments to be bought!?

Unfortunately, considering how much money we tend to spend during the holiday season (buying a third ceramic Christmas tree was totally worth it), we need new income now more than ever.

So how can you make the holidays work for you? [Read more…]

How To Harness the Power of NaNoWriMo… All Year Long

We’re just a few days in to NaNoWriMo, and the tweets and motivational blog posts are already flying fast and furious. Not that I’m participating, mind you. I’m not a novelist, and all of my attempts at “fiction” back in college were thinly-veiled, totally emo personal essays (as were everyone else’s). But I can’t help feeling envious that fiction writers have a month like this, during which they can go all in on that large project they’ve been daydreaming about for eons, a built-in support network (and hard-core accountability) just an email or dedicated forum away.

Of course, I get my motivation and accountability elsewhere. My writing partner, Lyz Lenz, sends me threatening emails every week.

But what about the rest of you? Where can you go to ensure that your writing goals are met, thanks to a mix of motivation, camaraderie, and abject fear? [Read more…]

Didn’t Get It Done? That’s Your Own Damn Fault

Things that distract me:

– my cats
– an opened bag of Candy Cane Kisses
– music that is particularly peppy
– the knowledge that there is an unwatched episode of The Sing-Off on my DVR
– the dust I just noticed on the far edge of my desk
– a sink full of dishes
– Etsy
– my sudden obsession with yoga bolsters, brightly colored jeans, or illusion necklaces
– Twitter
– etc.

This past weekend — at a time when I was supposed to be working on the first chapter of my book so that I could get it to my writing partner by Monday — we lost power (along with hundreds of thousands of others on the east coast, thanks to a freak October blizzard). Okay, fine, I thought to myself. I’ll give myself a pass. My laptop will die in under two hours anyway.

Then, on Sunday night, the power came back on.

By Monday morning, however, Internet had still not been restored. “Ooh!” I said to my husband. “I’ll take this opportunity to write that chapter without any distractions!”

I then proceeded to spend the next few hours watching Project Runway, playing Spider Solitaire, and checking email on my phone. [Read more…]

Want Freelance Success? Watch Your Health

At the beginning of June, I started ghostwriting an ebook with a very aggressive timeline. I didn’t take on many other projects during that time, aside from a blog post here and there, and some copyediting work. I also didn’t take breaks for lunch. I stopped going on my afternoon walks. My topless living room yoga sessions became far less regular. And I ate a lot of takeout Chinese.

Finishing that project (the last of the edits were completed in mid-August) was like coming up for air. It was freeing, but I also felt burnt out and unmotivated. I lost all momentum. For weeks, I did the bare minimum, telling myself I’d get back in the saddle after “that trip” or “that holiday weekend.” But I never did.

Then I started making yoga a bigger part of my life* and, suddenly, I was able to jump into new coaching work, start singing funerals again, and write a book proposal. Magic? Not quite. [Read more…]