How to Maintain the Ability to Interact with Other Human Beings

Have you ever seen that comic by the Oatmeal on why working at home is both awesome and horrible? I love it… especially because it perfectly captures the “degradation of social skills” (his words) that occurs when you’ve been working alone for an extended period of time.

How have I been affected?

  • I no longer feel shame when I wear yoga pants to the Stop & Shop, or to Barnes & Noble.
  • I tend to mutter to myself in public.
  • I have extended conversations with my cats.
  • I’m mystified when people actually call me on the phone, instead of texting or emailing.
  • I don’t have a single, business-appropriate outfit, and always go into a panic whenever the odd networking event or launch party pops up.
  • I tackle my husband as soon as he arrives home and try to engage him in conversation about EVERYTHING IN THE WORLD EVER, ALL AT ONCE.
  • I have panic attacks when at large social gatherings, work myself up to the brink of passing out when public speaking, and am forced to medicate myself with a potent mix of Xanax and wine.
  • Actually, that previous bullet point pretty much describes me even before I went full-time freelance!

The point is, many freelancers — especially the introverts among us — tend to hide behind our books and laptops and notebooks and cameras whenever possible.

Which is goddamn ridiculous when you’re trying to be a successful entrepreneur, as both community-building — and the ability to sell yourself — are crucial.

Which is why I joined Toastmasters last month. [Read more…]

Top-Notch Marketing Tool: The Panel

This past weekend, I attended the ASJA 2012 Writers Conference, which I had been freaking out about for months. I was invited to speak on a panel about sex writing and, not only did the prospect of speaking to a crowd of professional journalists and authors intimidate me, but I felt self-conscious about the fact that I was the only panelist without a book. (It didn’t feel right to count the ebook I’d co-authored the other year.)

I worried: Would attendees think I wasn’t accomplished enough to give them advice? Would they roll their eyes as I hid behind my notes and stuttered over my words? Would they riot over the fact that the organization had allowed such a poor public speaker to have access to the mic? (I have an over-active imagination… )

As per usual, I was overreacting, and I made it through the panel alive. And after that, I was able to enjoy the other panels and presentations throughout the day. I found it to be a great opportunity to see how others structured their panels. I was able to see what worked, and what didn’t. And at the end of the day, I was convinced: I should do this again.

Putting together a panel — whether at a major conference or as a smaller, standalone event — can be a great marketing tool. It can help you establish yourself as an expert. It can bring you into contact with other luminaries in your field. It can raise your visibility. It can strengthen your writing resume. It can even act as a source of income!

But putting together a successful panel? That’s something else. [Read more…]

Link Love: May 20, 2010

It has been over a month since my last Link Love. In lieu of the Hail Marys and the Our Fathers, I’m finally going to own up to the fact that something’s gotta give.

I mean, my grandfather died. And then I started a new copy editing gig. And then I launched a mom blog over at YourTango. And Michael and I started making plans to go hang gliding, maybe go on a French wine cruise, clean out our condo and sell it, buy a house.

Things fell by the wayside. My plans to do market research for my career coaching practice. My e-book. This blog.

Something has to give, but I don’t want to give up any of it. Which is why, at the very least, I can at least stop feeling guilty over the infrequency of my blog posts. At least for now.

Last night, I attended a callanetics class with my mom. I’ve been going every week for the past 11 years (give or take the few years I was away at college). It typically serves to simultaneously relax and invigorate me, both stretching me out and strengthening my core. Last night, however, I had a panic attack during class, and started crying on the drive home. I just felt so overwhelmed.

So yes. I’m going to try to feel less guilty. I’m going to try to acknowledge that I am merely human. I am not going to give up this blog. But I will be here less often. If you’d like to stock up on some reading material in the meantime…

[Read more…]

Link Love: November 21

What a week! It started out on a somber note, with an overnight trip down to MD for a cousin’s funeral, but quickly turned around, with a job offer, my very first career coaching teleclass, and some exciting new projects. Excitement!

While I go do my happy dance (again), I’ll leave you to read this week’s link love:

[Read more…]